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HypoCRAZY
Posted:Sep 21, 2019 1:28 pm
Last Updated:Oct 6, 2019 9:38 pm
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MAN......

There are some fuckin' people on Asian Sexfriendfinder.com. Let's break it down.

PART 1
They know their worth, they know what they want, and sorry if you lack in 1 or more of these features, but you aren't worth the dried up cum in their panties that drooled out after last nights sexual conquest that they didn't bother to clean up after the dude "didn't pull out fast enough."
You're better off dead to them.

Introducing..... "The Bitch"
The bitch is fairly common on Asian Sexfriendfinder.com. They want the human equivalent of Adonis; Ya know..... The Greek God of Beauty; While they, themselves, are uglier than sin, or exhibit ridiculously shitty, judgemental, and/or vain characteristics, and have the intellectual depth of a stagnant trash and pig shit puddle.

Generally, they:
WILL SETTLE FOR NO LESS THAN a man whos 6'5" (3.2% of the US population is taller than 6', has less than 5% body fat content (HAHAHA. No.), is lean ripped but still has arms big enough to carry their 200lb fat ass ( that would be called a Chimpanzee. You want to fuck a chimpanzee...), has perfect, straight, white teeth (while her own teeth are FUUUCKED up), 10" cock or greater (yeah? NEED? I bet I get you off with a tongue, a finger, and a thumb.), is experienced with every position in the Kama Sutra and a dozen more from the internet (bitches don't even know how to suck a dick without grating the flesh off with their jagged snagletooth, but expect you to be able to perform the "Flying Triple Flip Upper Decker Dick Gnasher."), Smells UH-mazing, (while she wears perfume that smells like the crafts department at Wal-Mart), has a PhD and/or 6 figure income, (to pay for everything SHE wants to do, because she has no job. Silly bitches, aint no one on Asian Sexfriendfinder.com pulling 6 figures, lmao. You're fucking high), Can host AND drive (translation: cheats on significant other so ya'll gotta find somewhere else to fuck than the dilapidated studio apartment she lives in with her baby-daddy in a shitty neighborhood in San Bernardino. And "I need you to pick me up because my BF is using the car to drop off our (s) at Daycare and to drive to work, 40 miles into LA."), He will knowbhow to treat a lady (she wants to be fed, pampered, and ideally gifted on your dime, and have everything done for her, while offering nothing in return but a worn out pussy and an unenthusiastic deadfuck), pillow princess (wants to lay there like a fucking who's gone limp in the toy section of Target after being told they don't get a new toy today and its time to leave the store. They want you to handle ALL the physical exertion of 5-60 minutes of constant pelvic thrusting while also supporting theirs and/or your own body weight, and they want you to stimulate, and pleasure them so effectively and intensely that their orgasm goes atomic and vaporizes and smears them across the universe, rendering them omnipotent, but will do NOTHING to provide you with any micron of additional pleasure that you didn't attain just from YOU fucking THEM. I mean... they let you smash their pussy, what more do you want from them? Ya greedy fuck.), he also MUST be able to hold a conversation. (Only talks about herself, people/situations that only she knows or about drama she needlessly created, but insists that everything is everyone elses fault, and as you listen more, can already see 5 reasons why its EXCUSIVELY her fault and you feel bad for the "asshole" in her story), clean/hygienic (well no fucking shit. I figured Id go on this date wearing the same underwear Ive been wearing all week while not wiping my ass after taking a shit, and talk to her, too close to her face with my mouth open wide, using as many words as I can that make a guttural "Hueh" sound, after having contracted hallitosis and eating Tuna and Onion for lunch [My condolences to anyone this has actually happened to, though...]. Mind you, these are the same bitches that say body hair is digusting, but will lick a man's asshole), she says she won't fuck on the first date, or needs chemistry first (will fuck on the first date if you're good looking, or needs to lower her inhibition with alcohol if you're ugly. If she hasn't tried to fuck you by the second, MAYBE THIRD date, then she doesn't want to fuck you, bro; But she may continue to contact you so you can potentially spend more money on her, or provide amenities she otherwise is without, i.e. shower, washer/dryer, food, place to stay, or some ugly scrub she can be seen with to make the guy she's REALLY after jealous. ), she requires you write more than "hey" or "sup" (will typically respond to "hey" or "sup" And thinks someone who writes more than 30 words is clingy or tryhard or simply is too lazy to read any of it, at all.) YOU MUST PROVIDE HER WITH A FACE PIC!! (She has 3 pictures of her pussy and 1 of her tits up to her cleft chin).

Talk about impossible standards. Let's talk about what she brings to the table:
A worn out leather wallet she calls her pussy.
The End

Coming soon...
Part 2 - The Babe
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Oct 7, 2019 1:06 pm