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My Pillow Princess
Posted:Aug 16, 2019 6:45 pm
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2019 6:30 pm

This is pillow princess. Her is Pip. She's half Chihuahua and half Shih Tzu and all of 7 pounds. I found her on Craigslist when she was 6 months old. When I went buy her she never barked, she playfully growled and ran back and forth in front of me staying just of reach. Once I managed pick her up she was all tongue. The owner told me her was Pip, and seeing as how she was 6 months old, I didn't want confuse her by changing her . I googled her and found that "pip" is the dots on dice. But after a while we started thinking "pip" is short for "pip squeak", which fits because she's so small.

Pip is close a year old now and smaller than our 10 lb Chihuahua and much smaller than our 25 lb Terrier, but has the biggest bark of the 3 and has made it clear the others is boss. Any and all table scraps are hers. When I brought the other 2 dogs home grand daughters claimed them, so I made sure that Pip is mine. She sleeps with me and cuddles all night, I get up use the bathroom, then she steals pillows. All her nails are black except what would be her middle toe, which is silver on every foot.

She has definitely made an impression in heart that I haven't felt since American Eskimos passed away about yrs ago. I always called them "best" .

Do you have, or have you had a special pet in your life?
My Perpendicular Purple Dick-ular
Posted:Aug 4, 2019 7:11 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2019 7:33 pm

Sometimes I find myself perusing the profiles of other site members and mostly feeling depressed b.y. all the fakes and scammers t.h.a.t. didn't exist here back when I first joined. Or maybe they did and I was too naive to admit it. Either way, every now and then I come across a profile with lots of sex pics and sometimes videos t.h.a.t. take me back to the long forgotten days when I had sex. Some of them inspire my desires to get back there and have some fun. Then I remember not do I have no partner, I don't even have a current wish list. At this point I tell myself it's too much of a hassle, besides I have a hallway to tile, bathrooms to scrub, and a huge stack of dishes with my on it, waiting me in the kitchen.

When I first decided abstain, coming up on 6 yrs ago, I felt I had get . I was stuck in a cycle w.h.i.c.h. sounded inviting when it started, but after 2 yrs left me feeling like a tool. Not t.h.a.t. the people I "associated" with weren't friendly, they were sharing, giving, like minded sexual perverts much like myself. But I was tired of being the third wheel, or the fifth wheel, or the odd man , being passed from couple to couple. So, I posted on my profile NO COUPLES, NO MARRIED WOMEN. And t.h.a.t. was t.h.a.t .

I assumed sooner or later some unsuspecting would stagger into my life and we would have , sweaty, endless, video-taped orgasms and my life would be complete. Except, no staggered in and now, years later, I don't care. Every night I can have sex however, with whoever, whenever I feel like imagining it. And afterwards, a quick wash off, and I have the entire bed myself.

I often imagine this is the world we live in, now. Where we are MORE connected with the rest of the world b.y. our technology, and yet less connected physically BECAUSE of our technology. It makes me sad the youth of today t.h.a.t. won't know t.h.a.t. worthless feeling of having spent most of a Saturday night and too much of a weeks p.a.y. in a sleazy bar, getting drunk and turned down b.y. women I wouldn't give the time of day to, sober. Ahhhhh, the good old days.....So now and maybe forever, I carry on, just me and my perpendicular friend.

Do you feel MORE or LESS connected b.y. technology?
Life's "But's"
Posted:Jul 28, 2019 7:12 am
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2019 5:01 am

This will be reposted in my initial comment in case of missing words:

Since closing my business a little over a year ago, my life has seen many changes. Mostly good, but a lot of unexpected but's. I'll post it in a list of positive and negatives:

Positive: I took a job with a rather large company hoping for long term employment.
Negative: To get anywhere you need to "know someone". I didn't.

Positive: I had a regular paycheck which allowed be to make a budget for the 1st time in 22 years.
Negative: I made so little I was struggling week to week.

Positive: I applied for so many different dept jobs the people who worked at the recruiting office knew me .
Negative: There was always someone more qualified for every position.

Positive: 3 weeks ago, my foreman, noticing my drive to climb the ladder offered me a crew leader position at my own location. A 2 position jump from grunt, passing over "assistant", to crew leader. I didn't have an assigned assistant so I would have to temporarily pick up the slack.
Negative: I got my new assistant last Thursday and he has 3 years more experience than me, plus he's arrogant as hell, AND he's a talker. I mean, he won't shut up.

Positive: I went from p.a.y. grade 1 to p.a.y. grade 4.
Negative: Nobody can or will tell me what I will be making. I know the low range and the high range, but I keep hearing, "You'll see it on your next check".

Positive: My truck blew up, which is a positive, because I found a 2008 Jeep Liberty with A/C!!!!!!
Negative: The A/C quit after the 1st month. Another , windows down, summer.

Positive: I started my week of vacation Saturday, my 1st in 8 years, my 1st p.a.i.d. vacation in 25 years. I had planned a week of nothing but wearing shorts, not braiding my hair, and being stone from sun up to sun down. A week of total "slumming".
Negative: Saturday morning my grand d.a.u.g.h.t.e.r informed me they were going to be with me the whole week because the other grand parents are going on vacation. My week will be spent washing dishes and yelling at them to pick up their crap.

I suppose all in all I should see the good things and ignore those negatives, but I'd really like to have something "good" without the "but".
Perfect Strangers
Posted:Jul 19, 2019 11:46 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2019 6:31 pm

At times, I've found myself drawn to someone I've only just met. Almost has a desperate feeling, as if I'm compelled to talk, share, touch , especially touch. I find myself wanting to hold their hand or arm, as if they'll disappear if I don't. It hasn't happened in a while, and even then not very often, but the ones that I've met were so intense that I can still remember that perfect stranger.

Have you ever felt that?
For All The Game of Thrones Fans
Posted:Jul 4, 2019 8:29 am
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2019 5:45 am
the ultimate doorstop....

[ image ]
Posted:Dec 22, 2018 10:08 am
Last Updated:May 18, 2019 6:22 pm

Whether it's your finger, a lick, or a dick,
During the season of Old St. Nick,
Remember the Butcher, the Baker, the internet trolls
your favorite strippers swinging on poles

The Postman, the Barber, that down the street,
The Waitress that earns all day on her feet,
The Teacher, the Preacher, the Grocers that sack,
The women that earn their dough on their back,

We all need to give and help when we can,
To those who have less, here is the plan,
Christmas is a time to Give, not to Get,
And I don't mean increasing your monetary debt,

You give with your heart, your soul and your mind,
You give it up freely to folks of all kind,
To all those in need regardless of race,
To all of our brothers in far away place,

The time that we give has come 'round again,
So give us your blessings, forgive us our sin,
So Come Oh Ye Women, I tire of these rants,
And give your good tidings to the lump in my pants!
There Goes Blog Land
Posted:Nov 20, 2018 6:22 pm
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2018 1:42 pm

The fake profiles that the scammers put up here are bad enough, well, I just saw a new blogger in the "Newly Created Blogs". This new blogger posted a couple of emojies in her initial post. Not really thinking much about it, I clicked on her profile. The worst English I think I've ever seen from a scammer.

I know we've all had some kind of interaction with these people, but have you ever seen one blogging?
Something To Be Thankful For
Posted:Nov 17, 2018 5:44 pm
Last Updated:Jan 5, 2019 1:28 pm

After my and granddaughters moved in and the wife moved on I took over all the Mom duties in the house. This included the Thanksgiving dinner. I'd never cooked anything like this before and wasn't too confident, despite my culinary creativity. My cooking had always been along the line of breakfast tacos, Dorito meatloaf, and homemade Pizza. I have a few TexMex dishes I've made up that were popular, but nothing like a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. Wow! I've worked in restaurants before and knew how busy things can get, but trying to serve up turkey and all the rest and getting it all to the table hot, unburned, and fully cooked at the same time was some kind of feat.

I tried this a few yrs before I realized a 4 and a 6 yr old weren't going eat anything save a roll with butter, some mashed potatoes, or stove top stuffing. They could care less for turkey, cranberry sauce, green beans, etc. And it wasn't MY cooking, they didn't like turkey at the other grandparents house, either. So, about 5 yrs ago I decided to give them a dinner they could be thankful for. I told everyone they could pick one main dish, one side, anything they wanted, and I'd make enough so that everyone could have some of everything. It worked, they eat, they get excited picking their dishes, and now hate going to the other grandparents just that much more. SUCCESS!!!

Over the years we've come up with a few constants for every dinner. Since everybody loves stuffing and Texas cheese toast, those are automatically on the menu, plus I always allow a few "extras" just to NOT limit their enjoyment.

Anywho, after all this rambling BS, here's this years Thanksgiving Meal for 2018:

Texas cheese toast
Fish Sticks
Mashed potatoes
Waffle Fries
Chicken Strips

Do you have a traditional dinner or do you have something different?
Porn Buddies, Duck Butter, and Goose Cheese
Posted:Oct 12, 2018 7:48 am
Last Updated:Nov 12, 2018 9:10 pm
I read a post by Paulxx001 where he visited a restaurant and had foie gras. It reminded me of this post of mine:

From Urban Dictionary:
Porn Buddy: An intricate pledge system in which a bond is formed between two porn loving individuals. If one should die, the other will immediately remove all pornography from their house before the parents can find it (keeping at their own discression).

I was talking to a friend today and he brought up who his "porn buddy" was and their instructions to clear his computer, take his porn, and smoke his weed. I started thinking I should have a "porn buddy". My computer guy has already seen a bunch of my porn so nothing new there! But he's 10 older than me. I should be HIS porn buddy! The added stress of worrying about dying and my last porn and testament being sifted thru by my G-girls is probably going to kill me.

Duck Butter:The combination of sweat from the ballsack and anus that creates a buttery film on the grundle and butthole.

I don't know if I've ever served Duck Butter to any women, but if I have, Bon Appetit!

Goose Cheese: The female version of duck butter.

I've had this. And once your "down there" and realize "what's for dinner", there's no backing out without ruining the evening and any possible future relationship.

So, do you have a Porn Buddy? Ever had Duck Butter or Goose Cheese?

I Got Fucked Good
Posted:Oct 11, 2018 8:46 am
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2018 9:03 am

And not in a good way. Previously on "The Straight And Narrow" I told y'all about how the DMV never got my medical form from the Dr's office and the state was threatening to suspend my drivers license. Well, I went down to the Dr's office, and wouldn't you know, the girl didn't know what I was talking about. She said she was new, but would look into it and call me. 2 weeks went by and I never got a call. I even called and left a message with the answering service, because the Dr's office never answers the phone, and still nothing.

I called the DMV and after 30 mins on hold finally talked to someone and told them what was up and could they sent out the medical release forms again. I was told there wouldn't be time, as it takes 3 weeks to get that out of the office. No wonder it takes them 30 mins to answer the phone. I was told my best bet was to request a court hearing ASAP. A request for a court hearing is done by fax, not in person, or by mail, or by email, but by old, archaic fax. Well, it just so happens I have a copy machine which has a fax mode. So, I type out a nice request letter, print it out and fax it in on Sept 17th. A good 3 and a half weeks prior to my Date of Revocation. That's because you have to allow 3 wks for them to "process" it.

I wait, and I wait, and nothing is showing up in my mailbox. So, on the 10th, yesterday, the day before they revoke my license, I call the DMV and after 38 mins someone picks up the phone and tells me "Fax? What fax?" Oh my god! I'm coming unglued! I went on a rant about how I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, but everyone else is dropping their end and I'm gonna be the one who gets fucked in the end. The lady asks me to hold while she calls the Medical Review Board. After a few minutes she comes back and tells me if I re-fax it with proof of fax, they will honor the original date of fax. My fax machine does not give me a receipt, it has a little digital window that says "Received". She puts me on hold, then comes back to tell me to re-fax it anyway and they'll set my hearing. This time I went to a mailbox store and had it faxed and got a receipt.

Today I called again, and after 37 mins someone answered and said that while he did see a confirmation of my fax,he did not see any hold on the revocation of my license. I finally got him to call the Medical board, but they told him, without that proof of the original fax sent, my license is suspended as of today. I asked him how long it takes to get my hearing. At least 90 days to set the hearing date. That's not even the date of the hearing, just the minimum amount of time till they "set" a hearing date. The guy suggested I get a new medical release form, take it to the Dr, send it to the Medical Review Board and possibly they might reinstate my license without the hearing. He's gonna send one out.

I'll be driving on a suspended license when I go back to the Dr's office. I think I need to do something "memorable" just to make sure they don't forget who I am this time. Has anybody else ever been through something as fucked as this?
Boom Chica Boom
Posted:Oct 7, 2018 11:52 am
Last Updated:Jul 14, 2019 5:44 am
I was perusing Craigslist last night, just looking. When I get bored I like to window shop. Last night I was looking at puppies. Chihuahuas to be exact. I've always wanted a herd of 10 chihuahuas. We got our little "Yo Quiero Taco Bell"
dog, Esperanza almost 3 years ago. A little over a year later we picked up Nacho, a chihuahua "mix". If Nacho has any chihuahua in him, it's one he ate. This is a 20lb wire haired Terrier. I should've known by those big feet.

I scan through the chihuahua section, listing after listing and find a little girl. 10 wks old, chihuahua mix. I send an inquiring text, she's still available, text tomorrow after 9am. I went to bed with a plan in mind. I woke up with a word in mind, "mix". I'd fallen for this once, so before I sent my text I got back on CL. It wasn't long before I found something: rehoming fee, text me if interested, she is 2 months, she is very tiny super loving and playful, can't keep her because of my pitbulls. this looked right. I sent a text and got an almost immediate response: still available, need her gone ASAP, $60.

I got the address and headed downtown, heart of the Barrio, where you don't ask for directions, you don't look at anybody, you just mind your own business. Where the houses are small, and the yards are smaller, with fences in the front as well as the back. I was thankful for the heavy wrought iron fence around the front yard as it stood between me and 2 large pitbulls. Rather than trying to get to the front door, I sent a text. Out the girls came with a handful of puppy, just what I wanted, I paid them and got my white-boy ass back in my truck: Vaminos!

Once home Espy and Nacho were happy to meet little Chica, and she seemed happy to be around dogs closer to her size. She still has her puppy breath. Welcome to the herd Chica! 2 down, 8 to go!

THAT'S The Wrong Hole
Posted:Oct 5, 2018 8:29 pm
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2018 6:43 am
When I was in the hospital in '99 they decided to put me out for about 3 days, shoved a tube down my throat, and strapped me to the bed. When I woke up I remember freaking out on the respirator tube, panicking I wouldn't be able to breath, until I realized I was. Then I freaked out on not being able to swallow. They eventually pulled it out, it felt like several feet of tubing.

That's when I realized I had a tube up my dick. Oh Fuck Me! I immediately started begging them to take it out. The male nurse told me, if he pulls it out and I don't pee in this jug within an hour, he's gonna put it back in. They eventually pulled it out, it also felt like several feet of tubing.

Now, I know there's Sounding. Just reading the words of Urban Dictionary's definition makes me cringe and cross my legs: "The practice of inserting plastic or metal 'sounds' (long thin and very smooth objects) into yours or someone else's urethra. Ultimately leads to stretching of the urethra so that larger objects (such as a finger) can be inserted in the penis."

A fucking finger? Oh my God! I'm gonna be sick. But this brings me to my point, have you seen the catheter commercials on TV? There are a couple of different ones for Liberty Catheters. In both commercials these guys can't stop smiling, going on and on about they're loving relationship for these tubes. You'd think it was a sex toy, or "ribbed for his pleasure" the way they act. One guy flies around in a stunt plane, doing loops. I'd be burying the fucking nose of that plane into the ground if I had to stick a tube up my dick to pee. That's a quality of life decision.

I'm very lucky I was out when they violated me in the hospital, if I'd been awake, I don't think I'd be "right" in the head, now. Whoever invented this little form of torture took the easy way out, straight up the orifice, right to the bladder. With everything they have in the hospital, they should be able to give me case of diarrhea so bad, I wouldn't need to pee.

So, has anybody else seen these commercials? Did they seem a little too excited about their plastic fantastic lover? What do you think about Sounding?

Posted:Oct 1, 2018 7:05 am
Last Updated:Oct 4, 2018 9:10 pm
a repost from my mc-archives

-can make your heart beat fast
-can keep you up at night
-can make you cry
-can make you laugh
-can feel good
-can be painful
-can be simple
-can be messy
-can overtake every other thought
-can control your every move

~come to think of it, the same can be said for POOP!

~can you think of anything else that poop and love have in common?


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Most Recent Comments by Others

Post Poster Post Date
My Pillow Princess (25)cinnamon0133
Aug 17, 2019 9:33 am
My Perpendicular Purple Dick-ular (28)SeaGirlFL
Aug 17, 2019 6:26 am
Perfect Strangers (20)SeaGirlFL
Aug 17, 2019 6:21 am
Life's "But's" (26)smartasswoman
Aug 15, 2019 10:31 am
For All The Game of Thrones Fans (27)canyaz
Jul 24, 2019 4:41 am
Give (39)Sunshine5508
Jan 5, 2019 12:10 pm
Something To Be Thankful For (49)shaheen6060
Dec 15, 2018 9:24 am
There Goes Blog Land (41)Koffla
Nov 22, 2018 1:40 am
THAT'S The Wrong Hole (57)lonlyforlove2
Nov 3, 2018 6:13 pm
I Got Fucked Good (30)Koffla
Oct 29, 2018 2:08 pm
Porn Buddies, Duck Butter, and Goose Cheese (31)lindoboy100
Oct 29, 2018 11:49 am